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The radiation department is spooky with WARNING and DO NOT ENTER signs everywhere, strange buzzing sounds, rotating red lights in hallways, and weird-lookin’ staff walking around with heavy rubber gloves (just kiddin’ about weird-lookin’).
You lie on a gurney facing a gigantic machine with a huge lens that looks right out of the Twilight Zone. It rotates around the room, makes scary, loud knocking sounds, and it looks like…well, it looks like Robby the Robot in the 1956 cult classic Forbidden Planet! Remember the robot with the bubble head?
It gets worse. The techs put goggles on you and tell you to keep your eyes shut tight no matter what! NO MATTER WHAT? And they assure you that if you have any problems, you can just yell (YELL?) in the direction of the microphone and they’ll hear you from where they’ll be, which is 10 MILES AWAY! Behind very thick lead walls! That’s how it goes down, ask anyone who’s done full-body radiation. The process feels like bad sci-fi from the ’50s.
And one last thing: When you’re done with your 20-minute zap, you turn over so they can zap your other side, just like steak on a grill. Medium well-done, please!